A lesson to learn

Dear Editor:

The recent confrontation at 42nd Street Bagel brought back memories of a similar racial incident 2 years ago during a Little Mermaid Ballet Show at Bridges Auditorium.  Someone had written about witnessing a confrontation between a white and an Asian woman.  The witness wrote, “On April 17, my family and I hoped to see a beautiful story about growing up, falling in love and rescuing those we care about.  Instead we were treated to a lesson in being antisocial, behaving in a racist manner and how to threaten violence.  Partway into the show, a blonde woman sitting in two rows in front of us, with her two young children, turn around and confronted the Asian American woman accusing her of talking throughout the program.  Despite the American woman stating clearly and without any sort of an accent, “Are you speaking to me?” the accuser questioned the Asian American woman’s ability to understand English and threatened the woman with physical violence (to slap her).  When my mother, a retired Cal Poly professor tried to calm the situation, the blonde woman yelled to her as well.  What are we teaching our children we insult others with racist innuendo?  What are we teaching our children when we threaten violence, when not threatened ourselves?”

I am that Asian American woman.  I did confront the blonde woman when she accused me and my then 4-year-old for “making noise since the beginning of the show.”  She was quick to conclude it must be us making that noise, “since we couldn’t understand English.” When I asked her if she was speaking to me, she retorted back and said, “Yes, you—you have been talking since the beginning of the show.” I leaned over to her and told her, “You are making more noise than a 4 year old” to which she threatened to slap me in the face.

I felt I had to recall this incident to emphasize two things:

1.  Bridges Auditorium is one establishment whose management knew exactly what to do in cases like these.  After I decided it was not good for my daughter to witness this or for me to go down to this woman’s level, we left our seats to seek assistance from the manager on duty.  We were immediately given front-row seats as far away from this mad woman as possible.  I didn’t see this woman ever again.  I found out later that Bridges did not want them back to the theater ever, and I was given complementary tickets to enjoy a future show.

2.  I have 3 children.  I have always reminded them to be tolerant of people’s differences, to a degree that they can defend themselves.  This could happen to them anytime, anywhere.  This could happen to anyone.  We could all be victims.  It is tempting to fight back and teach these uneducated people a lesson or two on diversity and sensitivity.  But at what cost?  We hope they will learn, somehow.

I wish that man visiting 42nd Street Bagel will read this and all the letters deploring his uncouth and unacceptable behavior.  Whether he learns a lesson or not, we’ll never know.  But I hope he’s doing some soul searching while golfing, or drinking his coffee elsewhere.  As for 42nd Street Bagel: a costly, woefully painful way to learn a lesson.  But a lesson it’s time they learn.

Freya Nishimura
Claremont