Nancy Evelyn Sicilian Tolley, a strong advocate for peace, racial tolerance and cultural understanding, died on April 3, 2009 at her Pilgrim Place home. She was 77.

Ms. Tolley was born on March 1, 1932 in Westerly, Rhode Island, the third child of Joseph P. Sicilian and Edith Girven Sicilian. Her father, a native of Italy, came to the United States as a 12-year-old with only a fourth-grade education and a strong will to succeed.

“Mom had the same toughness that he did,” said Ms. Tolley’s son, David Tolley. “She was a kind person but very determined.”

During high school, Ms. Tolley participated in cheerleading and drama, capturing the lead in many school plays, and enjoyed the popularity and socializing that accompanied these endeavors.  At this time of life, she also began a pen pal relationship with Cobi Berenyi in England, with whom she wrote letters back-and-forth her entire life.

As a young actress and as a member of several drama clubs, Ms. Tolley initially set her sights on pursuing drama as a career. But, afraid of failure and somewhat embarrassed about the “vanity of it,” explained her son, she instead pursued another vocation that had been in her heart and mind—missionary service.

After briefly attending Beloit College in Wisconsin, she earned a bachelor’s degree from the Teachers’ College of Connecticut (now Central Connecticut State University) followed by studies at the Kennedy School of Missions of the Hartford Seminary Foundation in Connecticut. There, she met Reverend Doctor William P. Tolley, whom she married in 1955.

In 1957, Ms. Tolley and her husband went to Portugal for language courses before being placed as missionaries in Angola, Africa in 1959. Contrary to what was typical within marriages during this era, it was Ms. Tolley’s determination and desire to serve overseas that propelled she and her husband into such distant service. 

“He was getting his doctorate in Christian education, and he assumed he would always stay in the states, but it was my mom who convinced him to go to Africa for 2 tours of service,” said her son, David. “This was her passion, not his.”

Ms. Tolley’s courageousness and resolve was called upon and challenged numerous times while in Africa. In 1961 when the Angolan uprising occurred, she had to flee with her 3 children with only 24-hours notice—her children were 3-weeks-old and ages 2 and 4. Taking only what she could carry, they departed during the danger and chaos of guerilla warfare, leaving Mr. Tolley behind to finish his mission term.

During a long layover in Brazzaville, Congo, Ms. Tolley realized she had left her family’s luggage in the hotel. Leaving her children with a friend at the airport, she hastily took a cab back to the hotel to retrieve the bags, returning to the plane as passengers were scurrying to board.

“Mom said she was not going to board a plane to go halfway around the world without even a diaper,” said her son, David. “Looking back, she couldn’t imagine she did such a thing, but in her mind, believed the plane wouldn’t leave without her.”

Nor did it leave without her 4-year-old son, David, who she had lost track of in the crowd and commotion—only when airborne did she find him, safe and secure in the back of the plane. They traveled to Paris where they took a 2-hour cab tour of the city before their final flight to New York.

When Rev. Tolley returned to the US, he and Ms. Tolley served the Foxboro Congregational Church in Massachusetts for 2 years, followed by a return to the mission field and service in Ghana, Africa from 1965-68. While in Accra, Ghana, standing and waiting to walk across an intersection, Ms. Tolley was hit and dragged over the rear wheels of a truck that cut the corner too close.

“She had broken teeth and tire tracks on both her chest and her back,” said her son. “But her initial concern was her purse that landed on the departing truck. It contained money that her students had given her to buy fabric for the dresses she was helping them make.”

From 1968 until 1991, Ms. Tolley and her husband served Congregational churches in Southwick and Newtonville, Massachusetts.  She also taught English and other subjects at elementary schools in Hartford, Connecticut and Southwick, Massachusetts and worked for the Clerk of Courts in Westfield, Massachusetts.

Throughout her lifetime, Ms. Tolley was committed to and active in organizations dealing with issues of peace, justice and racial harmony. Even as a young girl, she demonstrated these sensibilities, befriending and bringing home people of color, “and that wasn’t the thing to do back then,” said her son, David.

“She was always concerned about others,” he said.

Such concern for other people compelled Ms. Tolley to host a foster daughter while in Southwick in the 70s as well provide support and advice for several immigrant families from Vietnam, Indonesia and other places that were being sponsored by her churches.

Wherever she lived, Ms. Tolley became well known as a seamstress and dressmaker. In the 70s and 80s, she made dozens of wedding gowns and hundreds of bridesmaids dresses. Soon after moving to Pilgrim Place in 2000 (after retiring in 1991 and living in Wilmington, North Carolina for almost a decade), Ms. Tolley became legendary in the retirement community for her skills. For the annual Pilgrim Festival each November, she was a sought after seamstress for the costumes worn by residents.

“She had a long waiting list that she regretted never getting to,” said David Tolley.

She also did much of the sewing work for the Festival’s “Quiet Books,” unique and artistic children’s books with buttons to fasten and other tactile learning activities within.

Traveling was a passion of Ms. Tolley’s and, during her life, she visited Indonesia, Papua New Guinea, Cambodia, New Zealand, Vietnam, China, Malaysia, Peru and many other places—usually with only carry-on bags, even for a 6-week trip to China.

“Her biggest regret was that she didn’t get to all the places she wanted to go,” said her son, who, at age 11, had been in 13 countries and 33 states with his family.

During retirement, Ms. Tolley studied Italian and traveled to Italy to discover her family roots. This chapter of life also found her and her husband traveling around the US multiple times in a camper van.

“And this was not a big van, it was just a normal-size one,” said David Tolley.

Ms. Tolley also discovered race-walking in her 70s, earning a number of medals during her roughly 4-years of competing in the sport. 

Ms. Tolley is survived by her sons and daughters-in-law, David Tolley and Terry Boudreaux, of Houston, Texas, Luis Tolley and Lisa Kramer of Jakarta, Indonesia and Paul and Holly Tolley of Lexington, Massachusetts; by her daughter and son-in-law, Lisa and Robert Alber of Chelmsford, Massachusetts; by her 5 grandchildren, Sydney and Benjamin Tolley and Matthew, Bradley and Blake Alber; by her brother and sister-in-law, Robert and June Sicilian of Mystic, Connecticut; by her nieces, Cathy Koelle, Rhonda Richardson and Beth Severe; and by her nephews, Michael Quattromani and Darrel Richardson. She was preceded in death by her parents; her sister, Jean Quattromani; and her husband of 51 years, William Tolley.

A memorial service will take place at 3:30 p.m. on Sunday, June 28, 2009 in Decker Hall at Pilgrim Place.

Memorial donations may be sent to Pilgrim Place Residents’ Health & Support Fund, 660 Avery Rd., Claremont, CA 91711; or to the Angola Memorial Scholarship Fund: www.angolamsf.org.